...but we had and have, LOVE.
You don't get to choose your parents nor how they parented you. You do get to choose whether you will be a parent or not and if you choose parenting you get to choose how to parent with all its imperfections and trials and errors. We weren't perfect nor will you be. We were a family with LOVE.
Holding your own parents to perfection leaves you sabotaged for how you parent and even for your life. There is no perfection from any human. None. Best to grab hold of yourself and learn how to accept what is not changeable (the past) and BE what is right now.
We damage important relationships by expecting perfection from others. As the years go by it becomes harder and harder to let go of all those harbored disappointments in perfections and expectations that did not happen. It only ends up setting one's self back and leaves one's self angry.
The anger signifies the hurt for not being perfect. It signifies a wish to be perfect. BUT it certainly does not allow living right here and now and trying harder to do what is right.
There are reasons why people are admonished not to judge others. I go one step further (in a reminder to myself): "do not harshly judge one's self." Rather meet the challenge head on to learn and improve. Honor those who have been in your life regardless of their imperfections for without their input you would not be this far along on your very own journey of living. Tis the experiences of human lives.
Making choices under stresses and difficult circumstances is not a perfect science. In fact it is more likely to be flawed than not. Rather than ignoring or denying the flaws, embracing them allows a person to move forward whole and to have relationships intact and build upon the whole. That is living on the edge of a greatness (learning all about LOVE). That is living a Life alive.
In any family there are problems at any given time. Perfection is saved for the ignorance of those who never truly live alive. We weren't Perfect. We aren't perfect now.
What we are is an imperfect human having a human experience which is to say we are living life. No human escapes this. BUT each human has the ability to make choices, learn when 'falling down' and embrace the self just as he/she is at the moment and try harder. Along with accepting self with all the flaws and beauties we learn to love and we love beyond our own boundaries in spite of behaviors. Behaviors can change with work. LOVE is the unifier that allows relationships to build and to mend and to Be right now without judging pasts nor wishing futures.
We weren't perfect. We aren't perfect now. We are LOVE and that LOVE builds bridges and allows us to learn and grow.
We are humans having human experiences with the ability to embrace the LOVE in our hearts and let that LOVE heal us and all others in our life.
What amazing things can happen when we embrace ourselves, accept our flaws and try harder to do the right thing with each passing day! We do not have to be perfect ~ we only have to keep trying while loving no matter what.