sailing the seas of life (self examination)

In all of my life (when looking backwards at what has been) ~

what first comes back to me

is how much I failed

how bad I was there or there

how I lacked this or that in kindness

how I chose angry hurtful actions

over the understanding of self and others.

Some say you have to forgive yourself. 

 It just seems easier to forgive others and not forgive me.   I expected that I should have known yet somehow I did not.

I do not expect I know others well enough

that I can judge them in finality as 

wrong forever.

Any human being can 

improve and do better

if believed in!

Every bad choice I made was made (ignorantly perhaps at the time) out of concern for my self image that was ever so lacking only becuz I had not worked on my self in the area now poorly chosen.  It seems those bad choices then required I do further self examination.

 What does one do when they have examined and adjusted the sails of the ship but a little further on the voyage another ship comes by and yells with their bold beautiful white sails ~ "hey crappy, little dingy with the dirty sails you are going the wrong way!  May my wake punish you for a long time."  

(I have learned punishment does not exact correction but rather promotes angry hurt between both. Punishment does not solve or resolve. It does not build relationships and connections.)

 The initial reaction is to want to give up trying to be better.  BUT that only hurts this little dingy with the dirty sails.  So ~ this ship must go on.  This ship must remember that at the heart remains that LOVE that knows right from wrong and will guide in trimming sails and adjusting sails to sail on.  

I must keep trying for that is the process of living with the Heart of Love as the guide.

Time does not belong in a bottle

What is Life? How does one live that Life?


Simple enuff questions yet very hard to answer.



How many times have you been too busy ~ so busy you missed

out on the actual living. Living is only as much as you notice around

you and with those you Love.




I have always been amazed at how at the death of someone people

finally have 'time' to give. They had no 'time' when the person was alive

so how do they think that sharing Life now when the person is dead

is any gift of themselves. Perhaps giving after the Life becomes then

a penetance gift which of course robs even the giver of the spirit of

genuineness ~ of Love.



It is too late then.



Take time and give time today for tomorrow is but a whisper in the wind

and yesterday a fart now blown away.




The gift you give of your time or the gift you receive of another's time

are the gifts of living. And that my Friends is Life.

　

Expounding on It

My Grandpa was a man of small gifts that gave even long after he was gone.

His 'time' was never so busy that he could not sit down and share even for

a few moments with a child who often was left out. He understood that

even the homeliest, most mistake ridden child needed to feel Loved.

He understood that giving that gift of feeling Loved meant simply taking

'time' and giving 'time'.



After my Grandpa was long gone his words stayed with me ~

time is the most valuable gift one can give to another and is

truly the essence of living Life.



How 'time' is used may make all the difference

in not only my own process of living but surely the process of others.

When I have wrapped myself in my own living ~ given little to no time

becuz I was too busy ~ the quality of Life was cheated far beyond

any accomplishment. The honor of a grant bestowed may be unknown

until the funeral service at which a few will only then discover. Time

at that point long gone does little to benefit the Soul. So it truly is in

the process of living Life that 'time' is a gift given and received.




The value of living Life is giving and receiving time which then fills the process

of living with Love. (or does it)