Once Again

The pain of an old relationship's end

brought back to roost by a small flock

with bird diseases that clip their wings

The scapegoat

used to make the few

feel somehow better about themselves

turns out to be a bluebird

with a song that keeps

gurgling up from the chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am not going to stop writing just becuz some people think everything I write is about them or that they can use my words and twist them to then harm me and my relationships with others.

I am a good person.

Many years ago I made a poor choice out of my co dependency

to marry an NPD with BPD.

I had children with that entity.

I have not been with that person for years and years

and my children are grown adults

yet in unpredictable cycles

the meanness comes back with a vengeance through

one or both grown children.

I am now starting yet another new blog. (This One)

I will not make links where those few 

can find and come back here to read

and then screw with me.

I have been poked and tormented

and survived.

I will not be a victim

nor do I need to then victimize

to some how feel good abut myself.

I feel good about myself becuz

 I have worked hard to be a better human being each passing day in this process of living.  

I do not deliberately and maliciously harm others

physically or even at their core hearts.

If it is brought to my attention that I did hurt someone's heart

I do sincerely and genuinely apologize and try harder to improve and not make the same mistake.

I own what I have done ~

the good, the bad, the ugly and the beauty

and even the in between shades.

I do not expect anyone else to fix me.

I do not have to own anyone else's mistakes nor do I have to fix it for them

no matter how much they try to make me

somehow responsible for everything they do

that is not so good,

I am NOT responsible for them!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Now I am going to write from my heart again...

freely.  It is what I do so well and it is

the voice of my spirit that gets to be heard.

If you are reading this rest assured

I am writing again

and I will not be stopped.